Impressions: Dark Souls Remastered

The same game, with a new coat of paint

So, you decided to dive back into Dark Souls, eh? The world of the undead, where you prepare yourself to die over, and over, and over again. What the hell is wrong with you?

Dark Souls originally released in 2011 for the Xbox 360 and PS3, and while a masterpiece at the time, the game wasn't without it's faults. Glitchy bugs would knock you out of the map, cheap enemies were destined to slaughter you numerous times without fail, and poor frame rate  lacking of consistency in the ever daunting Blighttown were all frustrations that simply became a necessary evil in order to enjoy the game.

Frame rate issues aside, all of these frustrations remain.

That being said, there's obviously a lot to love about this game, even in the year 2018. It's Dark Souls - the game that literally every video game since has been compared to, numerous times. It's a staple in the gaming industry, and rightfully so.

It's challenging, but it's mostly fair. You can set up your character to cater to any build you want (magic, pyromancy, tank, or maybe a little bit of everything). I personally prefer to get a great sword and maul my way through the game, but that's just my style. There's really no 'wrong' way to play Dark Souls, unless you're a dirty, pathetic, lifeless shell of a corpse hacker.

Full disclosure, my evaluations are based on playing Dark Souls: Remastered on a base PS4 Slim model. Whereas I can play with peace of mind, PC gamers are being riddled with hackers infiltrating their worlds and ruining their adventures before they even begin. Hackers are cheating the systems coding, altering spells and causing users to suffer from curse, egghead, weapon breaking, and other awful experiences early in the game (as well as causing innocent users to be banned). It's distasteful, it's annoying, and frankly it's immature as all get out.

Still, the at it's core,  it's an utter delight. The fresh coat of paint is a welcomed addition to the game, and the enhanced 60fps really does make the experience feel smooth. I did notice a couple awkward areas where the game would stutter to no end (close to the Firelink if you are hopping around the top of the ruins, and in an elevator in New Londo), but on the whole, the experience is greatly improved. Even the dreaded Blighttown is no match for these new renovations.

Unfortunately however, the same bugs of old remain. The game can be glitchy at times, and even downright unfair. I have found myself able to do a double back stab with enemies numerous times, an issue that was actually fixed in the previous version. It would seem that the teams who worked on the 'Remastered' edition missed a couple of basic fixes and adjustments that were made in the previous game, and that's...well, sad.

Aside from lacking any original content however, this is one of the better ways to play Dark Souls. Some have argued that this release was meant to cater to the younger generation players who missed out. Others have reiterated that this is merely an 'HD port' rather than a Remaster. I'm merely content being able to play the game again, and on my Nintendo Switch of all devices, too!

...oh wait.

Of Cavemen (and Women) and Video Games

Ahh, the video game community. The misfit family reunion that nobody ever wants to think about, talk about, or hear about. The most vocal group of people you could ever meet with the most resounding backlash and harsh opinions to ever pool together over a common cause.

One that nobody cared about. 

Oh, hello friends and thank you for stumbling across my blog! I wanted to take a little time to talk about Battlefield V, a game that neither I nor anyone really knows anything about other than the few small trailers and images that have recently leaked from Dice and EA.

Interestingly enough, the game seems to take place during a WWII timeframe, but what's this?? It features WOMEN warriors?? Oh dear oh dear. Well that's alright, Battlefield has ALWAYS been more historically accurate than Call of Duty. It's ALWAYS been a realistic war experience, so I'm sure it'll be fine...

What the...what's this?? What are those outfits??? That's not World War II at all!!! Is...is that The Boss from Metal Gear Solid? And a clown!? How COULD they possibly do this to US, the video game community!? This isn't historically accurate at all! They are literally PISSING on history, and my great great grandfather is rolling in his grave because of this TRAVESTY!!!

*and scene*, great job everyone!

Seriously. What is wrong with you, internet? If you think that was a dramatic reaction to what I've revealed to you so far, then just google Battlefield V, or I'll do you one better, look up #notmybattlefield on twitter.

It would seem that all sorts of overly opinionated crybabies have gotten their panties tied in a knot because their beloved shooty shoot franchise is, in fact, being a video game. Yes, it's true, in a world where developers can do whatever they want, however they want, real life people have yet again thrown a giant piss party over the fact that a video game may not be exactly what they want it to be.

A travesty, for sure.

Cucks and feminist alike have taken to twitter to voice off their resounding disapproval for a video game, and it couldn't be any more glorious! Let's take a look at a few examples, shall we??

User Vulpes Inculta writes:

"It really hurts to have to say this, but I am not wasting my money on this piece of trash. This is so offensive and disrespectful and is a SJW piece of shit thing. If you wanted to do this, you could've made up your own war, not disrespect the memory of WWII...#NotMyBattlefield"

Of course. Every Battlefield experience to this point has been spot on, with absolutely no wavering factors or historical blemishes. We have to cater to the SJWs now, with this "piece of shit thing". Sad.


Fem warrior Miella in glasses speaks out with great vigor!:

"It's so funny how so many crybabies (all of them are men) are saying "buuu you need to learn about WWII, no women, buuuu" but hey

- Virginia Hall (spy)
- Susan Travers
- "The Czech nurse" (an unknow assassin who killed nazis)

and more and more and more #NotMyBattlefield"

You sure showed those boys! Those 3 examples clearly prove your vast insight of WWII, and the involvement of women. So silly, and clearly it's all men who are crying out in backlash!

Wait a minute...


mike jones keeps it real:

"Don't expect the black community to support this game if all you do is put as tokens #EA #notmybattlefield"

Of course, user complaints would never feel complete without pointing out some good old fashion racism. Shame shame, Dice.


But why bother even hiring a staff to fix things up? Helmet Preub has you covered: 

"#NotMyBattlefield
FIX IT DICE Remove Women from every faction except for Russian snipers and French resistance if it’s in the game. 

Lower the pace of the game. 

Make the colorful graphics a dark dusty one. 

Slow down tank speed. 

Remove the ridiculous soldier customization."

Obviously if one man can call out all of your issues with one simple tweet, then you've just found the holy grail of game development! Slow them tanks down, increase the dark and dusty tenfold!!!


All of these are fine examples of the greater community, voicing their unwavering, masterfully crafted opinions. With upstanding voices like these, what more could the AAA industry possibly need?

...where's my Tylenol. 

Impressions: Hyrule Warriors Ultra Super Awesome Whatever Edition (Switch)

One of the better Warriors games 

Hyrule Warriors, much like Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, has been out for 4 years now. Odds are, if you haven't already played it on the 3DS or on the Wii U, then you probably never cared about it, or you're simply not a Warriors style fan (lots of critics aren't).

However, if you're like me, you simply waited for the right opportunity to present itself. While I dabbled (very briefly) with the game on the New 3DS, I couldn't get into it, mainly for the poor resolution and incredibly small screen which made things damn near impossible to read. Hyrule Warriors on the Switch however, capitalizes on the best of both worlds.

For the record, I would never recommend you try playing this game split screen in handheld mode. Don't do that to yourself, or your friends. Yes, it plays, and actually it plays very well, however it's damn near impossible to see what's going on at all times. Then again, it is a Warriors game...if you can move a joystick and mash buttons, you're bound to have success.

That being said, playing solo in handheld mode is just right. The screen size is the right size to enjoy your experience while curled up on the couch, and the resolution looks sharp and clean. The game for the most part maintains a solid 60fps, which makes for a very smooth, flowing button mashing romp.

Playing docked is still preferable, at least for me. The Switch does actually brighten up the battlefield quite a bit more than its Wii U predecessor, and textures seem to be a bit more detailed. All in all, you're getting the convenience of the New 3DS portability and the visuals of the Wii U bundled into one sweet package, and it's obviously the best way to enjoy it

Now let it be known, that I've been a fan of the Warriors series ever since Dynasty Warriors 2 on the Playstation 2. I've obviously played many of the gazillion titles that Koei Tecmo has shamelessly thrown at us over the years. That being said, I can confidently say that Hyrule Warriors really does the best job of creating a Warriors experience that isn't bogged down with awful frame rate issues, texture drop-ins, and of course recycled assets from decades ago.

The key here, obviously, is that this is a Nintendo endorsed title. You can't just take a Zelda game and roll it into a hot turd for the public to chew on. Nintendo has the know how and quality control enough to ensure that you are indeed getting a quality product, and you really do. It is genuinely fun to play a Warriors game with Zelda characters, and the familiarity of finding new weapons, upgrading your combos, and even playing through a cheesily narrated story are all....well, enjoyable.

And truth be told, you are getting a core Warriors experience. You have your 'special' bar that fills for you to unleash a powerful attack. You fight off generals huddled up in enemy hideaways until you finally break into the enemies main camp. You will slaughter easily over 1,000, laughably flimsy and otherwise paper-like enemies (things to smack with your weapons ie button mashing). It's mindless, but it's a damn joy, and sadly it's one of the few entries in the long going series in recent time that actually does it right.

While it will likely go under the radar this year, I was very pleased to give Hyrule Warriors a go on the Switch. If you haven't played it yet, and have had even the slightest urge to give it a go, you'll find that it's perfect for some time wasting, button mashing mayhem. If you're looking for a traditional Zelda experience, then you should probably stick with Breathe of The Wild, and hang out until we get a hopeful 2D adventure again (fingers crossed).

Vicious Cycles

It's like deja vu...only not in a good way

Been a while since I last blogged an update. There's been some ups and downs lately, and frankly I'm just annoyed to no end with some of the ugly things popping up as of recently.

The Good: The wife and I just found out that we are having a baby girl! Always exciting news. I was actually hoping that we might have a little girl, sure enough I got what I wanted. Now I just have to plan on how to keep the boys off her as she grows older. 🤔

Also good news, I've finished year number 5 of teaching, wrapping up my time with this current school system. I actually obtained a job in my hometown for next year, so the wife and I will be moving soon...that is, once we've sold our current house. That's borderline bad news atm, but we'll make it work.

The Bad: Still waiting to sell the house has become very tedious...I feel like there's nothing that I can do about it. It's like I'm stuck waiting in Limbo, and that's just not my thing. I like to take charge of my situations and stay on top of things...not happening right now.

Also, my mother very politely (sarcasm) tried to pin her and my father's financial crisis on me recently. This has been an ongoing battle for me, and the fact that we are moving home makes me weary that this could be bad news for years to come.

This leads me to the topic of this blog. The 'vicious cycle'. You see, I'm tired of things being like this. I am constantly taking 1 step forward, and 2 steps back, and I just don't want to. I'm tired of my parents consistently fucking up, then trying to pin their issues on my brothers and I. I'm tired of reaching out to help people, only to get shit on in the long run (happened at work just yesterday). Fuck that.

You see, I'm sick of everyone acting like you owe them something, or simply trying to exploit you for your good nature. That's a serious issue in society these days, and people need to learn how to suck it up and roll with the punches. We constantly see trends of individuals (especially in politics) who can't own up for their own shortcomings, so they either take it out on others, or brush it off onto somebody else.

And who suffers? The person who's just trying to take care of their own issues on a day to day trend. We all have baggage...we all have crosses to bear. I'm sick and tired of people trying to push their problems off onto me, when I have my own damn issues to deal with. I don't owe anyone anything. Well, except for my loans. I definitely owe some banks for that .

And I really don't mind being helpful. I don't mind being generous. That is, until my efforts go unnoticed or are taken for granted. I'm not saying I want parades in my honor or anything like that...but is it so wrong to want a little credit for the good things you do? I recently helped a coworker in trying to secure a job next year - literally hand picked 2 jobs for her, which she got interviews for and fucked them up. Next thing I know, she's bitching about me being unprofessional because it's the end of the year, and my groups are all done with their concerts and performances. Really?

I'm well accustomed to the fact that the only true friend I have is my wife. I'm a bit saddened by that fact, but really I should be grateful just to have her. I've tried to mend old ties with friends online recently, but even that has been a bit difficult. Relationships are two way streets after all, and it takes work on both ends to make them work.

So yeah, little frustrated, little emotional (given the time of the year), little happy for my future, little sick of the bullshit. I will always strive to be the better person and share my honest opinion, but the older I'm getting, the more I just want to keep my mouth shut and do my part. I'm not entirely sure that's the healthiest choice, but that's kind of where I'm at.

This summer is going to be a challenge.

Impressions: God of War

Seriously, that's a pretty sweet beard

So God of War is probably the most talked about video game of 2018 and it's...pretty good. No really, it's a good game. While God of War doesn't necessarily bring anything new to the table, it's a very fun game that brings together both a cinematic and challenging experience all in one.

Of course, there are many die-hard fans of the series who insist that this is NOT God of War. Obviously, if you look at the games of old side by side with this new entry, they are objectively correct.

But I haven't. And frankly, I couldn't care  less.

What I can tell you about God of War, is that it's the story of Kratos and Boy...or Atreus...but you might as well just remember him as boy. Seriously, I forgot his name at one point in the game, because Kratos is so damn persistent about simply referring to him as 'BOY'. All credit to Jim Sterling for coining the name 'Dad and Boy' first, but this game truly is the story of Dad and Boy.

Anyway, Mom has passed away, so Dad and Boy now set out on an adventure to climb to the highest reaches and scatter her ashes across the sky, or something dramatic like that. It feels pretty much like a mythological plot, so who am I to complain.

For what it's worth, there's a lot of well designed 'father/son' moments throughout the game. While some may cry THE LAST OF US RIPOFF in regards to the adult/child dynamic, there's definitely enough here to differentiate between the titles, with ease. I'd go as far as to say that there are some very touching moments and life learning lessons to be observed throughout God of War, and that's...pretty neat.

The armor and weapon system...well, it borrows a lot of influence from Destiny. Upgrading your weapons and attaching stronger talisman will increase your overall character level. You can also add new skills and attacks via a weapon tree that unlocks as your weapon levels increase. At first I was turned off by this, mainly because of my great spite of Destiny...but once I realized how well this system was implemented, I got over it. It works, and it works pretty well.

The combat itself? Well, it's much better than games like The Last of Us. There's a satisfying feeling you get when chucking your ax at an enemies face, then recalling it and doing it all over again. You can of course just juggle enemies by thrashing them over and over (with the help of Boy shooting them with his arrows), and if you build up what I call your 'beat down' meter, you can unleash a powerful R3 attack that will squash your enemies akin to a Doom glory kill effect. It's pretty neat.

Balancing Kratos and Boy's attacks isn't too terribly difficult. You will get used to utilizing both characters to your advantage. It only gets complicated when you forget about all of the actual commands at your disposal. For instance, numerous times, I completely forgot that Kratos has a shield and, as a matter of fact, can block.

One of the biggest letdowns, however, is the lack of original and memorable bosses. With all of the great things that God of War does and does correctly, I simply don't know how they messed this up. Sure, there are a fair variety of enemies to crunch, but you will see the same boss types over, and over, and over. It's truly disappointing, and I'm fairly surprised to see that many critics are simply glossing over this fact without hardly a care in the world.

So, sure, God of War is indeed a very good game. I would highly recommend you try it out, especially if you are a fan of the Sony exclusive, third-person formula. I legitimately enjoyed watching Kratos and Boy develop their bond throughout their journey and...sure, I'd like to see where we go from here. Kudos to Santa Monica on a job pretty well done.