Vicious Cycles

It's like deja vu...only not in a good way

Been a while since I last blogged an update. There's been some ups and downs lately, and frankly I'm just annoyed to no end with some of the ugly things popping up as of recently.

The Good: The wife and I just found out that we are having a baby girl! Always exciting news. I was actually hoping that we might have a little girl, sure enough I got what I wanted. Now I just have to plan on how to keep the boys off her as she grows older. 🤔

Also good news, I've finished year number 5 of teaching, wrapping up my time with this current school system. I actually obtained a job in my hometown for next year, so the wife and I will be moving soon...that is, once we've sold our current house. That's borderline bad news atm, but we'll make it work.

The Bad: Still waiting to sell the house has become very tedious...I feel like there's nothing that I can do about it. It's like I'm stuck waiting in Limbo, and that's just not my thing. I like to take charge of my situations and stay on top of things...not happening right now.

Also, my mother very politely (sarcasm) tried to pin her and my father's financial crisis on me recently. This has been an ongoing battle for me, and the fact that we are moving home makes me weary that this could be bad news for years to come.

This leads me to the topic of this blog. The 'vicious cycle'. You see, I'm tired of things being like this. I am constantly taking 1 step forward, and 2 steps back, and I just don't want to. I'm tired of my parents consistently fucking up, then trying to pin their issues on my brothers and I. I'm tired of reaching out to help people, only to get shit on in the long run (happened at work just yesterday). Fuck that.

You see, I'm sick of everyone acting like you owe them something, or simply trying to exploit you for your good nature. That's a serious issue in society these days, and people need to learn how to suck it up and roll with the punches. We constantly see trends of individuals (especially in politics) who can't own up for their own shortcomings, so they either take it out on others, or brush it off onto somebody else.

And who suffers? The person who's just trying to take care of their own issues on a day to day trend. We all have baggage...we all have crosses to bear. I'm sick and tired of people trying to push their problems off onto me, when I have my own damn issues to deal with. I don't owe anyone anything. Well, except for my loans. I definitely owe some banks for that .

And I really don't mind being helpful. I don't mind being generous. That is, until my efforts go unnoticed or are taken for granted. I'm not saying I want parades in my honor or anything like that...but is it so wrong to want a little credit for the good things you do? I recently helped a coworker in trying to secure a job next year - literally hand picked 2 jobs for her, which she got interviews for and fucked them up. Next thing I know, she's bitching about me being unprofessional because it's the end of the year, and my groups are all done with their concerts and performances. Really?

I'm well accustomed to the fact that the only true friend I have is my wife. I'm a bit saddened by that fact, but really I should be grateful just to have her. I've tried to mend old ties with friends online recently, but even that has been a bit difficult. Relationships are two way streets after all, and it takes work on both ends to make them work.

So yeah, little frustrated, little emotional (given the time of the year), little happy for my future, little sick of the bullshit. I will always strive to be the better person and share my honest opinion, but the older I'm getting, the more I just want to keep my mouth shut and do my part. I'm not entirely sure that's the healthiest choice, but that's kind of where I'm at.

This summer is going to be a challenge.